i stumbled to a party that was thrown by some good friends but then
my body and my brain were on two sides of one deep end so then i
wait, but then i, wait, i think the ball is dropping soon but every time
i pick my face up it goes zoom, ba-boom, ba-boom remember
new year’s with our parents, um, not really, but I’m sure
that it was wholesome and relaxing and just simply fucking pure but those are
gone like kids and tv shows we’d love to see again but we’re so
guilty, our nostalgia is a chore and not our friend and so I’m
drinking and I’m drinking and I’m trying to get drunk and i’ve
succeeded i’ve succeeded i’m still breathing and I want to say
I really love you guys i think we’ll stay great friends forever or at
least until we move on and have ties we have to sever so for
now lets ditch our modesty and toast to our rebirth another
cycle like the water that makes more than half the earth and if I
sometimes seem impatient or unsteady or untrue its only my
dumb way of coping with the miracle of you and you and you
there’s nothing harder than escaping and transcending but if
anyone is close its us and maybe years are never-ending they’re just
scared to keep on going and they tell us that they are so we make
new ones and abandon those who think they’ve gone too far but we can
visit them like grandma at a nice retirement home when we are
alien and angsty and guilt-ridden and alone and next year
you’ll still be in college, i’ll be face-down on the ground but i’ll make
sure that you’re aware for the next time that i’m around so we can
talk about our lives and all we’ve lost and gained and gone through i swear
every time we talk again i know deep down you’re on to something
beautiful and strange and maybe that is all that matters that no
matter how the years go by we’re all still both mad as hatters.
and no matter what my psyche says i think that i might love you
it’s not much but it’s a start and what else can you ask of me
i bet you can ask me anything and i’ll be forced to try it
like a mudslide to the mountain or a river to the sea.
Michael Schwab
